I don't have any biological children of my own, but does that make me any less of a parent to the one I have helped raise for the last 13 years. The one I have loved like nobody else or ever will love again, the one that I have supported physically, emotionally and financially, the one I have encouraged, the one I have praised, the one I have disciplined, the one I worry about, the one I want to succeed, the one I have delighted in watching grow from a mere child to a young adult, the one I have given guidance to, the one that when he hurts I too hurt, the one I have played with, the one I have been a teacher to and help study with, the one I have tried to instill qualities such as honesty, respect, accountability and responsibility, the one that I would lay down my life for... for the past 13 years of my life every decision I made, every choice, every feeling, every activity, every action and every word had something to do with that child and/or that child's life.. I'm not saying everything I did was right.. I have certainly made mistakes along the way.. What parent doesn't? There isn't a rule book or a manual, although sometimes we wish there was. My point is we all want the best for our children and we try to act in his or her best interest, sometimes to a fault. There comes a time in ever child's life where they have to learn to stand on their own, make their own decisions and benefit from the rewards or suffer from the consequences of those decisions. I haven't seen my son in about two& 1/2 weeks, I miss him something awful, I feel like he is slipping further and further away from me and there is nothing I can do about it. My only solace is that I hope that one day he knows what a special wonderful most precious gift he has been in my life and that my influence on him the past 13 years has been a positive one. I love you son. P.S. I think "Joseph" was a step parent too!!!
Parenting has nothing to do with biology. What you're dealing with is so unfair and I wish I could make it better for you. I'm sure he does know how special he is to you now, but keep in mind that at this stage of the game, kids are supposed to pull away from their parents, (all parents - step, biological, foster it doesn't matter). I know being in different households makes it different and that much harder on you. I will need you to remind me of this in 10 yrs. As, cried yesterday because my oldest son is now officially a first grader. How did he finish kindergarten yesterday, when we just brought him home from the hospital last week?!?!?!
ReplyDeletePjkmama: Thanks for your kind and thoughtful comments.. WOW! a first grader...all I can say is "Dont Blink" they grow up so fast. You are right.. he is almost 17 years old and is becoming an independent young man with his own life, his own freinds, set of values, and ways of looking at the world..college is right around the corner and I know its the whole separation time thing, but it is so much harder not seeing him everyday. Thank you most of all for saying and believing as I do that it takes more than just biology to be a parent. San Jose
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