Moma says,"life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what you are going to get". Well if that isnt the damn truth!!!!!! So simple even a child can understand it, but not a 42 year old lost in love after 13 years...What is it with that number anyway? Or is it just me? Come on Im not the only one... I know there are lots of you out there going through the same heartache and pain that I am...SOMEBODY BROKE YOUR HEART, BUT YOU STILL LOVE THEM WITH ALL THE PIECES!!!!! So now what? Where do I go from here? How do I pick up those pieces and start loving , laughing and living again? If somebody could just tell that damn gerbil to stop spinning that damn wheel in my head...you know the wheel im talking about dont you? The one that spins around that emotional rollercoaster of sadness, anger, frustration, insecurities, worthlessness, fear, rejection, loneliness, confusion, abandoned, used, manipulated, lied to, unloved, unappreciated, scared, hurt, shame and that dreaded question of all.. "If only I had done this or done that, said this or said that, was more patient, more kind, more giving, more understanding, more loving , more attentive and less moody, less selfish, less judgmental, less posessive and less controlling"....he/she would have never left.....Why do people never stay together anymore? Why me ? Why cant I get a second chance? Ive been over it a thousand times and still cant forgive or make peace with myself.. self help books arent working, therapy isnt working, staying out all night drinking with strangers dosent work , eating my feelings hasnt helped , nor has starving myself or exercising myself to death. Not to mention begging and losing every bit of dignity I had. I havent given up on praying, my family or my friends...WAIT!!! let me rephrase that ... NONE OF THEM HAVE GIVEN UP ON ME!!!! So Im at wits end, about to cash in my chips, take my toys and go home, get lost in the rock and roll and drift away.....THEN!!! The simplicity of none other than FORREST GUMP!! Who lives in the moment and has no expectations of others....he has simplicity of thought...no gerbil spinning a wheel or running in circles overwhelming the mind of Forrest. Live and Let Live..so often the complexities of our lives inhibits us from really living.....so in the words of Forrest.... "Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know what your going to get". Dosent get any simpler than that and I just saved myself a $30 therapy co-pay!!!!
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